Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) Page 10

  “Sienna, trust me things will get better. Just take my hand sweetheart. Do you trust me?” he asked with his hand outstretched longingly. Her fingers itched to touch him as always but she clenched her fists and held them by her side and slowly shook her head. Why wouldn’t he just give up on her? Everyone else had.

  “Logan you have to go! MOVE NOW!” she shrieked as the freight train moved dangerously close.

  “I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOU!” he hollered over the sound of the train’s screeching brakes and threw her over his left shoulder and bounded upwards on to the platform, shielding her body with his as the train grazed past them grinding to a final halt…it had been too late.

  Both Sienna and Logan fell on to the platform, knocking Sienna out instantly as her head hit the cold hard floor. She had a cut on her forehead where blood oozed out from and splayed on to the platform ground. Logan fell next to her on his stomach. The left side of his body was perfectly unscathed. The right side conversely received the full impact of the force from the train. His right shoulder exploded with pain. It felt as though someone had yanked his arm out from its socket. The pain from his right foot however was excruciating in comparison. He clenched his hands in to fists as he tried to block out the pain. He looked at the yellow freight train covered with splatters of blood. Strangely it reminded him of mustard and ketchup. His head spun. Everything was blurring up in front of him.

  “Sienna…” he croaked and turned his head and saw her lying in a pool of her own blood, knocked out cold. “Sienna…” he rasped as he slowly stretched out his left arm towards her. He could hear a hubbub of noise around him. People were calling for help and telling him not to move. He ignored them despite the agonizing smarting he felt all over his right side he slowly dragged himself closer to her and placed his trembling fingers to her neck. He panicked as his fingers failed to find a pulse.

  A strange man leaned over a touched her neck. Logan had the strange urge to yell at him not to touch her but he was weak and his eyes were drooping and his head was pounding.

  “She’s still breathing.” He heard someone say and almost smiled if he could with relief. Logan felt like Icarus. He had never felt so free and blissfully alive as he did whenever he was with her. The closer he got to her the higher and happier he felt. Even at the mention of her name his heart would pound incessantly and all the giddy feelings he didn’t quite understand would suddenly reemerge. Every glance upon her blinding beauty cast a shadow upon every other girl for him. Everyone else paled in comparison to her. With every passing moment he had somehow discovered something new and exciting about her. With her by his side he could feel the light breeze flapping against his sides and the warmth of sunshine beating down on his handsome face. This is what it meant to be truly awake. This is what it meant to be in love.

  But just like Icarus he had gotten too close and had crashed and burned. As he lay crippled in the aftermath of his own destruction he wondered what hurt more the aching pangs of physical pain his body had been subjected to or the raw burning sensation he felt in his heart. He had gladly given her his heart and in return she threw it back in pieces claiming it wasn’t enough. That he wasn’t enough.

  ‘Everyone warned me not to break her heart, it never once occurred to me that she’d break mine.’ That was the last thought Logan Jackson had before he stopped breathing.

  10.

  A bright light appeared before Sienna’s eyes and she followed it. The doctor put the tiny torch down and looked at her curiously.

  “Can you tell me your name?” he asked.

  “Sienna Rivers.” She replied groggily. She looked around the hospital room confused. She had IV drips attached to her and a pounding headache that just refused to go. “What happened?” she asked blearily and yawned. Boy was she tired. “You don’t remember?” he asked tentatively and started flipping through her medical records.

  “I remember arguing with my family…leaving home…and going to the train station and…” she said slowly recalling the events that had occurred. Her eyes widened with horror as she recollected her memories. She jerked upright in her bed.

  “Logan!” she gasped and looked around her eyes desperate for the sight of him instead she found her bleary-eyed mother slumped in a chair in the corner watching her intently and silently. Sienna quickly averted her gaze.

  “Logan is-“ Doctor Wu started speaking but was quickly cut off from her mother.

  “I’ll tell her.” She interrupted and stood slowly and walked over to the hospital bed. “I’ll give you some privacy.” The doctor replied and quickly left not wanting to intrude on family matters.

  “Tell me what?” Sienna asked frantically. Her mother didn’t say anything instead she started touching the IV drip wires. Her fingers lingered on them slowly.

  “Tell me what mom? What happened to Logan? What happened to Logan?” she cried and closed her eyes and fell back against her pillow feeling as if the air around her were suffocating her. Her mother’s silence terrified her.

  “Logan. When they found him, the medics, he had stopped breathing.” Maria said with a vindictive look in her eye that Sienna failed to notice. Sienna felt the wind get knocked right out of her and felt bile rise up her throat. She was going to be sick.

  “Logan? My Logan?” she gasped and tried to stand but her knees failed her.

  “No. No. I don’t believe you. You’re wrong. This can’t be happening?” she said in between sobs then abruptly stopped and clenched her eyes shut. Her heart was pounding thunderously. Her head spun. She felt as though she were only seconds from passing out.

  “This is just another hallucination. It isn’t real and when I open my eyes everything will be normal again.” She whispered to herself and took a deep breath and exhaled. She opened her eyes to find herself still trapped in her worst nightmare.

  “He’s dead?” she asked gasping rapidly with big frightened green eyes. Her mother merely looked at her wordlessly.

  “It was supposed to be me.” She wept tearfully.

  “No.” She whimpered and dug her face and nails deep in to her pillow.

  “No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” she screeched letting out the most agonizing scream that could only come from deep within. It was a cry of unimaginable anguish and raw pain, so loud and frightening that it caused the nurses to rush in and physically restrain her hands as she yanked off the IV drips in her arms and tried to claw at her wrists and hair manically. Doctor Wu rushed in with a needle in his hands shouting at the nurses to hold her down. Sienna continued to thrash around demented and determined to destroy herself. She remembered what Meredith had once said to her, that she was nothing but a black hole sucking the light and good and happiness out of people. She was right. Somehow Sienna had managed to devour and obliterate the brightest star there ever were. Sienna destroyed everything she touched. Everything around her managed to crumble to ashes and dust whilst somehow she always survived standing tall and alone, lonely as a mountain. Sienna screamed and howled and bawled and kicked and punched and wept until she felt a sharp sensation dig in to her arm and her voice faded as the world went gloriously black.

  Sienna felt as though days had passed but it must have only been hours as she faded in and out of consciousness catching snippets of different conversations. She often heard new unfamiliar voices talking about her. She would also hear her mother weeping sometimes, Candice telling her about her day, Meredith apologizing and Annie reading her extracts from the C.S Lewis Narnia books. One time she could have sworn she had felt Logan’s soft lips on her hand and him whispering her name but that was impossible. Her Logan had passed away, he had left her and it was all entirely her fault. She would never feel those lips again. She would never see him again. Sienna opened her eyes wearily. She could see her sisters flicking through magazines and Candice was filing her nails. Her mother was standing outside the room talking on the phone.

  “Water.” Sienna croaked. Her throat was completely parched and aching with t
hirst. “Sienna! Call the doctor!” Candice yelled jumping up. She then helped her to sit up and handed her a Styrofoam cup of water. It hurt like hell as she swallowed. Doctor Wu returned this time followed by another younger looking doctor. Her family crowded around her bed as Sienna wondered momentarily if she were in hell.

  “Can you please tell me your name please?” Doctor Wu asked and took out his torch from his lab coat pocket.

  “Is she okay?” she heard an anxious Annie ask.

  “Oh for the love of God, not this again. We just went through this. You really ought to know you’re patients’ names by now.” Sienna retorted and coughed a little then took another gulp of water.

  “And she’s back. Yup, she’s fine.” Meredith said wryly. You could see the relief plastered all over everyone’s faces.

  “Just went through this? Sienna you’ve been out for a week.” Candice whispered.

  “What? You’re telling me I slept for a week?” she scoffed disbelievingly and looked around at their anxious faces.

  “Sienna, we had to induce you in to a coma. Your brain was depriving itself of oxygen and was beginning to shut down. You needed time to heal. We’re not sure why this has happened yet so we will need to take some tests if you’re feeling up to it? How do you feel now?” Dr. Wu asked gently and started scribbling down notes on his clipboard.

  “Thirsty.” She replied croakily and took another sip of water and winced.

  “I still don’t understand. What happened to me?” she asked. She felt exhausted and still lightheaded.

  “You lost a lot of blood. It appears you went in to psychogenic shock, the blood supply was cut from your brain and you passed out. I’m still not sure as to the reason you went to shock.” He admitted looking at her curiously.

  “Your speech seems fine. How’s your sight?” he asked after a moment.

  “Perfect.” She replied honestly.

  “You’ll have to take a few tests to see the level of brain activity.” He said gently. “You think I have brain damage?” Sienna yelped.

  “No, I’m sure you don’t but it’s hard to ascertain the facts right now. Until we have the results I can’t tell you for certain.” He replied swiftly. After going through extensive questioning and giving samples of her blood for testing and having both MRI and CAT scans Sienna was finally left in peace, from the doctors anyway. Her family on the other hand was eerily nice and pleasant towards her plumping up her pillows and trying to feed her grapes when she didn’t want them and laughing excessively about anything she said especially when she wasn’t trying to sound even remotely funny.

  She wanted nothing more than to be left alone but she couldn’t even go to the toilet without someone following her and guarding the door. She was handcuffed to the bedrail, as she was a danger to herself much to her annoyance. Her mother brushed her hair for her gently. She couldn’t remember the last time they had shared such a tender moment.

  “There. You’re all pretty and shiny like a brand new penny.” She whispered and kissed her daughter’s head as she closed her eyes drowning in guilt. Her daughter stared blankly ahead, lifeless as a doll. It was as if all the life had been sucked out of her as if she were unable to cry.

  “Did I miss his funeral?” she asked after several hours of unnerving silence.

  “Whose funeral?” Cora asked and put down her deck of cards. She felt tears prickle at the corner of her eyes.

  “Logan’s.” she whispered and broke down in tears. Her mother slowly withdrew away from her and walked out of the room.

  “Sienna, what are you talking about? Logan’s not dead. He’s only a few floors below.” Meredith explained as she and Cora exchanged worried glances.

  “Sienna, Logan’s alive. He has a dislocated shoulder, a broken leg and a few cracked ribs but other than that he’s fine. He’s alive.” Candice said reassuringly looking her in the eyes. Sienna felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest and cried tears of joy and relief.

  “He is? You’re not just saying it to be mean?” she whispered weepily looking around at her family looking very much like a frightened little girl.

  “He’s alive. Why would you think he wasn’t?” Meredith asked voicing what they were all thinking. Sienna looked up to see her mom returning with a cup of coffee and a bunch of Hershey’s chocolate bars.

  “I got your favorites!” she cooed airily and sat at the edge of the bed. Sienna glared at her mother unflinchingly breathing deep and hard as warm tears strolled down her already wet cheeks. She didn’t say anything as her mother avoided looking at her drowning in her guilt.

  “You think chocolate is going to make up for what you just put me through?” Sienna asked quietly. “Look at me.” She whispered as her mother cried fat guilty tears streaming down her ashamed face and shook her head.

  “I SAID LOOK AT ME!” Sienna bellowed brashly causing her mother to jump and comply. “Sienna, what’s going on?” Meredith asked unsurely wondering what on earth was going on. “Tell them. Tell them what you told me.” Sienna spat out angrily. She had never felt so betrayed in her life.

  “I was just telling her about the night of the train incident, that when the paramedics arrived on the scene Logan wasn’t breathing, I didn’t get a chance to finish the rest of the story before she assumed he was dead. And then she went in to a coma.”

  “Oh mom, its not your fault.” Meredith whispered and squeezed her mother’s hand.

  “Liar.” Sienna whispered.

  “What did you say?” her eldest sister asked astounded.

  “I said she’s a liar. She knew exactly what she was saying. She knew that’s what I thought. She was punishing me in her own sick twisted way for trying to kill myself, for trying to leave her.” Sienna stated not taking her eyes off her mother for a single second.

  “What is wrong with you?” Meredith asked outraged at such an accusation.

  “Leave her Meredith, she’s sick remember?” Cora chided.

  “I may be crazy but I’m telling the truth. I am.” Sienna said earnestly.

  “Okay.” Meredith sighed reminding herself that it wasn’t her sister’s fault she had these weird illusions. She had to remember that Sienna suffered from a schizoaffective disorder resulting in sudden mood changes, hallucinations, and insomnia and not forgetting paranoia.

  “Smell the coffee.” Sienna instructed abruptly.

  “What?” Cora asked confused.

  “Smell it. It’s reeking with alcohol I’m sure. And that ‘water bottle’ in her bag over there, I’m pretty sure that’s vodka.” Sienna said confidently pointing towards her mom’s open unzipped tote bag. Her sisters looked at her unsurely and for a second Sienna thought they would dismiss and side against her again. Instead they opened the bottle to find the undeniable strong stench of alcohol. Meredith soundlessly moved towards her mother and snatched the cup out of her hands and took a sip. She then sat in a chair grim-faced and with her head in her hands.

  “She’s an alcoholic. Everything I told you that night was true. Why would I lie?” Sienna asked. “Sienna, I-“ her mother began but Sienna had heard enough of her lies and pitying tales. She only wanted one thing in the entire world right now. One person.

  “Stop. If you want to make it up to me, you can start by taking me to Logan.” she whispered and threw her covers open and staggered out of bed. For some reason her legs felt numb and wouldn’t respond to her as they usually did.

  “Sienna you can barely walk!” Candice reproached worriedly.

  “Then what are you still standing here for? Get me a damn wheelchair.” She snapped no longer caring if she were rude. She had spent the past week unconscious thinking that the love of her life was dead because of her; she had every damn right to be a little grouchy. She needed to see him. She needed prove that he was alive and that this wasn’t just another deceiving hallucination. Candice snuck in several arduous minutes later with a wheelchair and her sisters helped her in to it.

  “Sienna, this is a
bad idea. The doctor said you were on bed rest.” Maria griped.

  “Oh shut up mother for once will you!” Meredith snapped irritably rendering the rest of the room agog and stunned silent.

  “The coast is clear.” Candice hissed as she stood in the hallway with shifty eyes pretending to be fascinated by the paint of the drab hospital walls. Meredith pushed Sienna’s albeit stolen wheelchair as they cautiously crept out of the room.

  “Oh for the love of God, we’re not breaking out of Shawshank! We’re just trying to get to the physiotherapy ward. Can you go a little faster grandma?” Sienna retorted sardonically impatient to see Logan. This was probably the most rebellious thing Meredith had ever done in her life and it showed as she wiped her brow anxiously. They entered the lift. As soon as the elevator doors closed Meredith let out a huge sigh of relief.

  “I can’t believe we made it.” She giggled clearly proud of herself for making it this far. “Easy there Michael Scofield, we still need to find his room.” Sienna replied wryly but couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at her usually uptight sister’s rapid change in behavior.

  “Thank you.” Sienna said quietly. She knew how much her sister despised Logan yet she was the one of all the people in the world reuniting the star-crossed lovers.

  “It’s just pushing a wheelchair Sienna.” Meredith replied unflappably waving the thank you away.