Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) Page 15

  He gulped. He wanted to forgive her. He wanted to apologize to her. He wanted to make things right, but just not yet. He wasn’t ready to forgive so easily. Sienna was held captive by those dark brooding eyes she so often found herself getting lost in. The way he looked at her made Sienna wonder and doubt Logan. Did he lie to her in the hospital? Did he love her? Was he just punishing her? ‘Maybe he’s just hurting’ she thought worriedly. Perhaps he was pushing me away to protect himself? Maybe he does love me? Her heart lifted with the prospect that the nightmare that she had been enduring was soon to end. She thought back to all of the childhood moments she shared with Logan, all the times they had solved jigsaw puzzles together, all of the summers they had spent in camp, all of the races that they had competed in and all the times she had won all the way until middle school.

  She remembered all the times he had stuck up for her throughout her entire life at school and at home to Meredith and Cora. She remembered the way he had held her the night her father passed and let her cry and cry out her heart in his arms until she eventually passed out.

  She remembered the way he listened to her crazy ideas, thought and dreams. Never passing any judgment or prejudice. He just listened. He respected her, until he announced that their friendship resulted in nothing more than an attempt to have sex with her. A part of Sienna refused to believe that he didn’t love her. Who could fake a love like that? Who would honestly throw themselves in to the face of danger if not for someone you truly loved? Her eyes searched his beseechingly for the truth but she found nothing in the end but cold black darkness. The cheerleaders had eventually finished their routine and the gymnasium erupted in to loud cheers. Logan’s eyes never left hers as he stood up. He then slowly walked over to Bethany who stood only a few feet away and kissed her taking her by glorious surprise.

  The crowd erupted in further cheers, whoops and catcalls. Sienna stared blankly ahead and refused to show any emotion, her face impassive, her eyes cool. She was done with Logan. How stupid was she to ever believe a word he had ever said to her?

  “Alright, Mr. Jackson that’s enough!” Principal Sharpe chastised with an amused smirk on her usually grim face as she stood up on the podium. He merely chuckled and sat down pulling her to sit beside him. Sienna returned her attention on to the principal who began speaking in great detail about school spirit and praised the football team proudly. Sienna zoned out.

  “You all right?” the boy next to her asked looking at her face peculiarly.

  “I’m fine.” She replied.

  “I’m Chad. Chad O’Connell.” He said extended his hand out to her. She shook it. “Sienna.” She said wondering who in high school introduced themselves with a handshake?

  “I know. I mean everyone knows.” He stuttered. Chad was a handsome looking kid still in the midst of puberty and its wicked ways with fair hair and light blue eyes and a smatter of teenage acne along his jaw. He looked at her anxiously. Sienna wondered how old he was and if this was the first time he was even talking to a girl. He appeared slightly nervous. Freshman. Definitely freshman.

  “Ah, my reputation exceeds me.” She remarked and beamed at him with her stellar white smile. He froze and looked a way for a second trying to compose himself. He had never even spoken to a girl outside his astronomy club let alone a senior and debatably the most beautiful girl in all of Haven Falls.

  “I heard you broke Bethany’s nose because you found out she stole your boyfriend? Is that true?” he asked hesitantly.

  “What?” she yelped and looked at his startled face.

  “I’m sorry, your ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry. Its none of my business.” He replied swiftly and averted his gaze probably because he didn’t want a nose like Bethany’s. Sienna might be the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes on but she sure as hell was the craziest.

  “No and would you relax kid, I’m not going to hurt you.” She rolled her eyes. It was absurd the way everyone would stare at her with a mixture of admiration, fear and even respect. She was Sienna Rivers for God’s sake, not Rocky!

  “I only punched her because she pushed me first and spray painted my locker. I’m sure you’ve seen her handiwork. The whole school has. The girl’s a regular Banksy.” She retorted.

  “Who?” he asked confused.

  “Never mind. Why? What else have you heard Chad O’Connell oh bearer of all useless high school gossip? I’ve only been back for a day!” she snapped and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry it’s my medications they make me grouchy sometimes.” She apologized feeling guilty for taking her anger out on some strange fifteen-year-old boy she had just met. “It’s okay. Well, I heard… I heard that you tried to kill yourself?” he gulped as he stared at her pretty stricken face.

  “What else?” she asked ignoring his initial question. They both knew its answer.

  “I heard that you dragged Logan down with you on to the tracks, which I totally don’t believe anyway. That sounds like pure BS. Especially since I heard it from Helen Gibbs who is total liar.” He rambled his words quickly.

  “I heard that you’re schizophrenic.” He said looking at her face for any sign of confirmation.

  “Schizoaffective. It’s different. It means I’m bipolar but sometimes I hear and see things that I shouldn’t but I take my meds so I’m fine. Trust me, I’m not crazy.” She scoffed at the idea. He nodded not daring to refute her despite thinking the opposite. “Well, there’s another thing I heard but ah it’s probably nothing-“

  “What?” she interrupted him inquiringly and frowned slightly.

  “I heard that Logan only used you for, well you know.” He said with shifty wide eyes.

  “For what? You’re at least fifteen. You can say the word and not get genital herpes.”

  “Sex.” He whispered and glanced around. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes again.

  “There ya go.” Sienna wondered how it was even physically possible that word had spread that quickly. She could imagine the students seated on the bleachers whispering to each other turn by wicked turn as if playing a game of Chinese whispers.

  “I heard that the two of you used to be best friends as kids, and that when you guys got older, he wanted to be the first to sleep with you so he could tell everyone, and that… and that he was only still pretending to be in love with you so that he could screw you. There I said it.” He whispered quickly and flushed a light shade of pink feeling embarrassed suddenly relaying what the entire school was thinking and saying about her. Sienna felt her heart plummet to her gut and gulped back the hurt and the acidic bile of her stomach making its way up her shriveled throat.

  “Let me guess, Helen Gibbs?” Sienna asked jokily with a shaky smile. Chad couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. He shook his head no.

  “Melanie Boscov?” she suggested weakly.

  “I heard it from my brother Trent.” He answered.

  “Trent? He’s your brother?” she asked surprised.

  “Logan told everyone apparently how you both slept together, and that you were really depressed after you father’s death, that’s why you wanted to kill yourself.” Chad replied tentatively and apologetically. Sienna ran her fingers through her hair anxiously willing herself not to cry. Instead she suppressed all of her pain and buried it deep within her hollow soul.

  “Personally I think you deserve way better than to be treated like that. He’s a jerk.” Chad said sincerely with kind pitying eyes.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as she stared blankly ahead as if lost in her own torturous thoughts.

  “I’m fine, never better.” She answered and smiled at him as if nothing happened. She acted as though he hadn’t dropped her a huge bombshell on her, that he hadn’t flushed her measly crumbs of hope that Logan even actually cared for her down the toilet. “And I would like you all to give a warm welcome back to Haven Falls’ best and brightest, Logan Jackson!” Principal Sharpe announced snapping Sienna back to the present as the gymnasium roared to life with an abundance of cheers
and hoots. They began chanting his name excessively.

  “LOGAN! LOGAN! LOGAN! LOGAN! LOGAN! LOGAN!” they chanted and chanted and chanted. Sienna’s head spun. He made his way up the podium and chuckled in to the microphone. Arrogant as he was, he surprised her even further by waving his arms higher as the crowd chanted his name louder and louder.

  “All right, calm down you filthy animals.” He joked. Even the teachers smiled at him. He was probably the only student who could get away with handing out insults, as he was the only one with enough confidence and flair to pass it off as a compliment.

  “I just want to thank all the students and teachers who visited me during my stay at the beautiful five star hotel that is the Haven Falls General Hospital. Yes, Ms. Sharpe that includes you, I know it was you with the sponge bath.” He announced cockily with an arched eyebrow and a smirk on his handsome face.

  “Logan!” she admonished with a stern look upon her red face.

  “I kid!” he grinned wolfishly with his hands up in surrender.

  “No, seriously. Thank you to all of those who visited me. It meant a lot and it showed you actually cared. So without getting overly mushy and sounding like an Oscar award winning sop, thanks. And although sadly I can’t play today, or most likely for the rest of the year, I sincerely hope my boys the Haven Hawks will take home the win today! Yeah! Go Haven Hawks!” he yelled and everyone clapped and cheered as he walked off slowly with the crutches tucked under his arms. Principal Sharpe returned to the podium and began her rant about how light and positive Mr. Jackson’s attitude was despite the terrible ordeal that he had suffered. Everybody knew she wanted to add ‘at the hands of a deranged psychotic lunatic’ at the end of that sentence.

  Sienna hadn’t exactly expected a warm welcome back from the pupils but she couldn’t help but feel the sting of rejection and dismissal as Principal Sharpe failed to even mention her return. Perhaps she didn’t deserve one, after all she did almost murder the all-star quarterback and Haven Falls’ only chance at the winning the regional state championship. Sienna felt Chad nudge her with his elbow. She snapped out of her daze and realized everyone was staring at her like she was a freak.

  “Miss Rivers? Would you like to come down here?” Principal Sharpe asked. Sienna frowned in confusion for a second then spotted Bethany standing beside her.

  “Oh, right.” She mumbled and slowly made her way down. She could hear snickering behind her. She made her way up to the podium. Bethany stood in front of Sienna with a proud patronizing smirk on her pretty little face. Sienna contemplated punching her again just so she could be done with high school once and for all, but the smidge of sanity that struggled within her took hold and urged her not to. She needed to graduate high school if she ever wanted to get out of this loserville town. Principal Sharpe handed her a microphone and smiled at her condescendingly. She was enjoying this way too much. Sienna gathered her bearings and looked around at the dozens of smirking young faces sneering and already laughing at her. She didn’t turn to look at Logan. She knew she would just run out crying like a fool if she were to see him smirking or worse laughing at her.

  “Hello, everyone.” She said nervously. Sienna had never been great with public speaking. It always made her nervous. She began breathing rapidly and shallowly. “My name is Sienna Rivers, as some of you may know. Some of you may already know me due to classes and such. And some of you may only have heard of my name today, specifically because of something I did first period.” She sighed and looked over at Principal Sharpe who kept her eyes glued to her like a hawk.

  “Something that I am deeply ashamed of. I alone attacked and instigated a physical fight with Bethany Simmons who was walking innocently by, alone, without any of her friends present to her morning classes and I just unashamedly broke her nose. She didn’t even provoke me. I just saw her and me being me, you know, crazy. I thought why not break that surgically perfected nose?” Sienna said nonchalantly with feigned remorse causing quite a few laughs to arise from the riveted audience that were her fellow peers and tormenters.

  “Miss Rivers!” Sharpe barked and took her glasses off to glare at her. Uh oh.

  “Oh, I’m terribly sorry. That came out wrong. It must be my illness. Basically what I am trying to say is that I do not condole violence at all and that I am sorry Bethany. I honestly am. It is all my fault.” Sienna said condescendingly and pulled a disgruntled Bethany in to an airtight bear hug. Everyone began clapping clearly amused by her performance.

  “Don’t think for a second I forgive you for the nose or for stealing Logan from me.” Bethany hissed in her ear. “Oh honey, you’re welcome to him.” Sienna hissed back through her fake smile and released her nemesis from her deadly embrace. Sienna turned to leave.

  “Oh and Miss Rivers?” Sharpe called. Sienna turned around.

  “Isn’t there someone else you’d like to thank? Someone who saved your life?” Sharpe asked with raised eyebrows. Her tone suggested that she wasn’t asking. Sienna froze on the spot. All the thought that were in her head suddenly flew out of her head. She felt her heart rate quicken with shock and fear.

  “That’s not necessary.” Logan quickly responded as he noted the sheer look of despair that washed over Sienna’s ashen face.

  “Come on.” Sharpe whispered and jerked her head towards the podium. This wasn’t part of the deal. Somehow Sienna dragged her leaden legs and addressed the almost half the population of Haven Falls about her deepest and darkest most private problems.

  14.

  “You don’t have to do this.” Logan said as he made his way over to her as an attempt to get her off the stage but she had already made up her mind.

  “There is another person whom I yet have to thank, and that person is Logan Jackson.” She said solemnly; her voice echoed throughout the entire gymnasium, the hurt and pain in her voice resonated in the air made manifest to the world. Her cheeks burned with humiliation but that didn’t stop her from continuing.

  “He loved me at a time when I didn’t think I deserved any love. He saved me at a time when I needed saving most and for that reason I thank him and that is only one of the reasons we all love Logan Jackson don’t we?” she asked as tears flew down her face. You could literally hear a pin drop in the gymnasium. It was so abnormally quiet. Everyone was stunned silent by Sienna’s sudden confessions. No one was laughing anymore. The atmosphere felt a lot colder all of a sudden. She could see her peers exchanging looks with one another as if to ask whether this was all really happening?

  “Sienna, please don’t.“ Logan whispered as he gently tugged her arm. She snatched it away.

  “Yeah! Whoop! LJ!” a group of people in the corner of the room yelled. Sienna’s wiped her tear with her sleeve and continued.

  “We all love Logan because he is kind, strong, confident and because he’s brutally honest and because he is fair and smart and he would never lie or cheat.” She professed her anger seeping through marginally. Logan swallowed the guilt that was eating away at him.

  “And let’s not forget he’s ridiculously good looking ‘cos he certainly doesn’t!” she retorted causing a lot of people to laugh nervously.

  “So I just want to thank you Logan, for making me realize who you truly are and I hope one day the entire world realizes just how amazing you truly are too. Logan Jackson everybody!” she called and clapped her hands along with what felt like the rest of the world as she stared in to those black eyes, black like his soul, black like his heart. She wondered how she ever loved such a cruel being before, someone who regularly toyed with her emotions just for laughs, someone who pretended to like her just so he could boast of his latest triumph, someone who ‘saved’ her when she tried to put herself out of her misery.

  Logan physically flinched as she gave him walked past him. He had never felt such hatred being emanated from someone who he until recently believed loved and adored him. She hated him. Perhaps beyond repair. The thought made Logan feel sick to his stomach.

&nb
sp; “One more quick announcement before you all leave.” Blake’s voice boomed throughout the gymnasium as he quickly appeared before the entire school. Sienna gaped at him confused by the strange expression on his striking face.

  “I would just like you all to give a nice warm deserved round of applause and welcome back to Haven Falls’ original best and brightest, someone who has seen far more than most people have seen in their entire adult lives, someone whom you could all learn a lot from Miss Sienna Rivers!” Blake yelled through the microphone causing the entire school to clap and cheer loudly and enthusiastically much to Sienna’s surprise.

  It was a pity clap, but it was an acknowledgement of her existence nonetheless. Blake’s amazing piercing ocean blue eyes bore in to her sad green ones washing away some of her pain like the rush of the tide hitting the sand taking away some of the pebbles, shells and debris. Something happened in Sienna’s fragile heart at that very moment, something inside of her flipped. Emotions inside her that she didn’t quite understand swirled within her. She knew it was wrong, that she wasn’t supposed to have those types of feelings for her teacher, but at that very moment Sienna couldn’t help herself.

  ‘Thank God for Blake,’ Sienna thought gratefully. He was the one person in her world that restored her faith in humanity. Not everybody was awful and had hidden agendas like Bethany, Sharpe and Logan. Some people were genuinely nice and cared about her. It was past time getting over the loser that was Logan Jackson. She had spent her entire life pining after him just to have him use and abuse her. She marveled at how she hadn’t even noticed Blake standing in the gymnasium all this time but now as he stood tall and handsome up on the podium calling and cheering her name she decided she would certainly start paying more attention to her white knight.