Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) Read online

  Thankfully the damn pep rally was finally over and Sienna was out of there in a shot. She half jogged half ran to her locker and after wresting with her locker code she threw her books in to her backpack eager to get the hell out of school. She could hear the buzz of students behind her. She could hear them murmuring her name frantically. She could hear Logan calling her name behind her. She struggled with her ridiculously huge chemistry textbook that seemed to be wedged in to her locker. She pulled at it frustrated by her lack of strength. Everyone in the world appeared so put together and strong but her.

  “Sienna!” she heard him call behind her. For a cripple he sure was fast. She yanked at her book with all her force and dislodged it triumphantly only to fall backwards on to the floor and have all of her books scatter over the floor. Naturally everyone snickered at her as she reached for her books. She wondered how it was even possible for one human to have so much bad luck in one day? Logan bent down and picked up her chemistry book in one hand as if it were a feather and handed it to her. She couldn’t help but scowl at him and snatch the mammoth sized book from him. She somehow managed to fit it in her backpack. He extended his hand out to her. She didn’t take it.

  Instead she slowly stood up and swung the backpack over her back looking like Quasimodo, she was in freshman year all over again. She knew how it must have looked to the onlookers standing near them. He was nothing more than a handsome gentleman trying to help the town nutcase. In every scenario he played out as the hero.

  “Sienna, please let’s just go somewhere to talk.” He asked with pleading sad eyes. She couldn’t help but slowly clap. He looked at her confusedly. The look of contempt in her eyes was more than enough to get his stomach turning and his heart racing for all the worst reasons. She leaned in close to him, resting her hands on each shoulder and moved her lips towards his ear as if to kiss him.

  “Somebody should just hand you the Oscar right now. You may be fooling everybody else with your captain America good guy act but not me. You forget I actually know you. I know who you are right from the pretty outer surface to deep within down to that ugly black rotting heart.” She whispered as she pressed her palm against his galloping heart. She then took a step back. A sick part of Sienna enjoyed seeing the look of hurt and shock that passed his face, but most of her felt darker somehow. She quickly turned and left the building. Logan couldn’t bear to keep up with the pretense of hating her anymore and rushed to find solace in his Mustang.

  He slammed his fists against the dashboard out of anger, frustration and overwhelming guilt. His stupid plan had backfired. He had played his part so well that she genuinely believed that be hated her and now she hated him. He saw the look on her face and knew the damage was done. Their relationship would never be the same again.

  Sienna stood outside the science block and leaned against the wall gasping for breath. She looked around to see if anyone was around. There wasn’t. Everyone must have already been at the football match. The area seemed deserted. So she let out a huge sigh and leaned her hands upon her knees. Her head spun, or was it the world spinning around her? She fell against the wall and dropped to the wall in defeat. She let out the most agonizing cry filled with pent up emotion, and buried her face in her hands unable to contain the aching bellowing sobs that were erupting out of her. After some time her pain subsided leaving her feeling nothing but numb, hollow and miserably empty. She looked up at the sky and wondered the world was so cruel, why so many suffered whilst others lived remarkably happy lives?

  It made no sense to her. She had grown up with everybody telling her that life wasn’t fair and to get over it. Yet, although she accepted the fact Sienna couldn’t even begin to fathom the reasons as to why? She wiped her tears with her hands and was surprised to find blood on her fingers. She tentatively touched her nose and found it wet, dripping with blood. Nosebleed? This made her feel a mixture of conflicted emotions. She was shocked to see so much blood seeping out of her for no apparent reason, and the other emotion that burned up inside of her was hope. She was hopeful that God had finally shown her mercy and endowed her with a terminal illness knowing she was useless when it came to ending her own life.

  The reasonable part of Sienna knew she shouldn’t be having those types of thoughts. She knew it was wrong to pray for death and for sickness when there were so many people on Earth who suffered from severe long-term illnesses and it was nothing anyone sane would ever wish for. Sadly Sienna was anything but sane at that moment.

  “Sienna?” she heard a familiar voice call. She turned her head too see Blake with a cigarette in his hand. He quickly put the unlit cigarette back in to his back pocket and crouched down next to her. He gently lifted her chin and looked at her worriedly. “Who did this to you?” he asked as he fished out a handkerchief.

  “Nobody.” She sniffed and tried to mop up the blood from her disheveled face. She must have looked like such a mess. She couldn’t help but feel absolutely mortified. Yet Blake barely seemed to notice as he held her face in his hands and told her to pinch the bridge of her nose. He didn’t believe her. He was sure one of those girls was sure to have retaliated, but Sienna being Sienna, she would never rat out on anyone. He pulled her hand up and helped her to stand.

  “Come on,” he whispered and led her to the lab nearby. He opened the lock with his key, flicked the lights on and seated her on a stool and began rifling through the first aid kit.

  “Who the hell carries a handkerchief nowadays? Seriously how old are you?” she joked. He couldn’t help but smile.

  “I know, I know. I’m terribly boring and old fashioned but hey you’d be surprised how handy they are.” He replied and wiped the smears of blood from her chin with the sanitary wipes.

  “Why? Do you often run in to crazy crying girls with blood pouring down their noses?” she remarked wryly.

  “Only every Monday.” He smirked causing Sienna’s heart to do that flipping motion again. “So what really happened?” he asked curiously.

  “I’m not exactly sure to be honest. I’ve never really had a nosebleed before.” She admitted.

  “Oh, you’re still running with that story?” he asked rhetorically as if he didn’t believe her. “It’s the truth. I know what you’re thinking and no, no one hurt me. I can take care of myself.” She stated confidently.

  “Yes, I saw Miss Simmons. I have to say I was very surprised when I found out you were the one who broke her nose.” He remarked and struggled with great difficulty not to grin.

  “Let me guess? You’re severely disappointed and appalled by my disgusting juvenile behavior?” Sienna sighed.

  “Oh, on the contrary. I think it’s refreshing seeing you stand up for yourself for once, besides I’m sure Bethany will just get herself a new nose anyway but you didn’t hear it from me.” He chuckled causing Sienna to giggle along with him. He had an infectious laugh. He was one of those rare people who could light up a room just with a smile. Sienna’s smile stilled as she felt his fingertips lightly graze her plump lower lip as he wiped the blood away. The look they shared was prolonged and intense causing both of their hearts to race.

  His eyes lingered upon hers for just a moment as if contemplating a much-desired kiss but he withdrew away from her suddenly and put the wipes in the trashcan. Sienna shifted uncomfortably in her seat and tucked her hair behind her ears. Blake mentally kicked himself. What was he doing? She was just a child? Not even an adult yet. She was vulnerable and ill. He was her teacher, her guide, and her mentor. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t abuse his authority. It was just wrong. He dragged a stool nearby and moved it a safe distance away and sat facing her. On the surface Sienna appeared calm and composed, on the inside however was completely another matter entirely. Her heart sped up at the thought of what could have easily just have happened. She knew you weren’t supposed to feel this way about your teachers, but then again most teenage girls’ chemistry teachers looked more like Walter White than the blue-eyed Adonis that was William Blake.

/>   “Blake, that night at the cemetery… you told me you were visiting your wife?” Sienna asked quietly and fidgeted with her fingers nervously. Blake ran his fingers through his tousled dark hair and looked at her apprehensively.

  “It’s none of my business.” Sienna apologized shaking her head. She had clearly crossed some invisible line. It was his dead wife for goodness sake. Of course he didn’t want to talk about it let alone to an unhinged student who was clearly smitten by him.

  “Her name was Charlotte.” He said somberly staring in to Sienna intensely giving her the feeling that he rarely spoke about his wife.

  “We met at Stanford. Charlotte was the one that actually grew up in Haven Falls. I grew up in London but got a scholarship to Stanford at age fifteen. She was a couple of years older. Taught me everything I knew. I was pretty damn terrified of her at first. She was strong, courageous, so extroverted, the polar opposite of me. We actually got married pretty young. Our parents were furious. We were the odd couple in college already married by eighteen. Everybody thought we wouldn’t last five minutes but we were so determined to make it last. We weren’t going to be like our parents. We would last forever.” He smiled sadly as if recalling fond memories.

  “Of course forever ended up being only two years due to her untimely passing.” He added cynically as he stared out through the window looking at the beautiful sunset. The question as to how she passed away burned up inside Sienna but she squelched her growing curiosity. This was clearly a sensitive topic. She couldn’t help but feel her heart throb for him. She understood his pain and a part of her realized it was easier for Blake to confide in her because he knew she actually understood.

  “Well, you did last forever, well as forever as this world can guarantee you. You were together til death did her part. You loved her til her death. That’s more than a lot of people can say about their wives and partners.” She whispered her voice shaking with emotion. She could see the tears in his eyes that he immediately blinked away.

  “God, this is like therapy.” He joked and breathed out a shaky laugh. She smiled back at him radiantly, with her glowing skin and big sad endearing eyes. He looked at the amazing creature that had somehow snuck her way in to his heart and managed to get him to open up about the darkest parts of his life whilst so many others had tried countless times and failed.

  “That’s me, Oprah Winfrey minus the likeability factor and the billions.” She retorted wryly. “People like you.” He replied instantly with so much surety in his voice it threw her. “What?” she yelped. “Just because you’re not popular it doesn’t mean you’re not liked.” He said with an arched eyebrow and smirked as if he knew something she didn’t.

  “With all due respect Blake, but that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.” She scoffed refuting his claim.

  “I think you’d be surprised by the number of people who genuinely dislike the so called ‘popular’ kids at this school and in any school in America. I mean I’ve never seen so many people so thrilled to see a certain someone sporting a broken nose.” He smiled secretly proud of her.

  “So you’re saying because I punched Bethany Simmons this morning my likeability factor is suddenly hitting the roof?” she asked and bit her bottom lip unable to contain her smile.

  “That’s ridiculous.” She scoffed and shook her head slowly.

  “No, you’re not liked because of the fighting although I must admit that did help. If you could have seen the way everybody was looking at you today after your speech. I’ve never seen two hundred rowdy teenagers stunned so silent, sitting so quietly and being so enraptured by someone before.” He said earnestly. His deep blue eyes sparkled and reminded her of sunlight reflecting off the ocean waves.

  “They were all just paying attention because they’re curious to see what the nutcase will do and say next. I’m just sick entertainment for them.” She remarked the truth lay heavy on her heart bringing her mood down.

  “That’s not true.” He whispered adamantly and reached out to take her hand surprising the both of them.

  “I wish you had stayed at least ten seconds longer at the pep rally today. If you had, you would have heard the things people said about you. Nice things.” He said and stood closer to her. He needed her to believe him. He needed her to see how special she was.

  “I don’t need their pity, and I don’t want it! I didn’t speak out today because I wanted sympathy. I didn’t speak and bare my soul to half the town just because Principal Sharpe said so. I only said the things I said to send a message to someone.” She sniffed and snatched her hand out of his annoyed that this was what everyone must have thought. Her annoyance only grew she felt her emotions betray her as the tears flew down her cheeks. She wiped at her eyes exasperatedly yet the rain continued to pour from that pair of distraught green skies. She ran her fingers through her hair angrily and clenched the hair at the top of her head tightly trying to relieve some of the emotional pain she felt inside, trying to gain some control over her life.

  “Sienna, Sienna, stop! Stop!” Blake yelled and held her wrists tightly in his hands. She let her head fall against his hard muscled chest in defeat. She felt so emotionally drained. No amount of medication would ever take away the sadness Sienna felt. There was no magic pill she could take, no special prayer she could read, no wish upon a shooting star that could ever alleviate the pain she was enduring. Blake wrapped his arms around her fragile trembling body.

  “You need to cry. You need to let it out. Take it from me, bottling it up will only prolong the pain.” He said softly as he stroked her silky dark locks affectionately soothing her down.

  “I’m sick and tired of crying. All I do is cry. My heart and eyes are sore yet I still cry and cry and cry. I hate crying. I hate feeling like this. I hate crying at night and then crying again in the morning because I’ve woken up, because I didn’t just stay asleep forever. I hate feeling so helpless, so sad all the time, so weak.” She sobbed and gasped, soaking the front of his shirt with her tears.

  “You’re not weak.” He whispered obstinately.

  “I am.” She cried and held on to Blake as if he were the only thing in the world that was still holding him up. At that moment in time he truly was. Sienna was alone. She wondered how it was humanly possible to be so alone. Everything and everyone in the world seemed to come in pairs, even the animals in Noah’s ark came two by two. She was destined to be alone and to lose all those close to her. People always left in the end, either by choice or by cruel fate. In the end Sienna was left with nothing but gaping hole in her battered heart and her eyes bleeding with the tears of her shattered soul.

  “Look at me. You do not get to feel sorry for yourself. Look at me. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He said holding her angelic face gently in his hands and gazed in those alluring emerald eyes.

  “Then I’m sorry that you’ve been subjected to such a low class of people in your life.” She replied with a broken smile.

  “You forget that I was the one who pulled you out of the ground that day. You forget that I’ve seen you at your worst. I’ve seen nothing but unimaginable pain and strength from you. You wonder why ordinary people don’t understand you? It’s because you’re not ordinary. You’re not normal. You’re different and that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it can be an amazing thing.”

  “I don’t want to be different. I don’t to stand out.” She replied sadly and removed his hands away from her. She didn’t deserve his warmth, kindness and compassion. She didn’t even know what to do with it all. The last time a person of any kind had shown her affection like this he had turned her world upside down and crushed her. She couldn’t let herself get so close to someone again. She walked away from him and picked up her backpack.

  “You have to let it go.” He said as her back was turned to leave.

  “What?” she asked and turned to face him.

  “You have to let go of all the anger and the hate. It will eat away at you until you�
�re left with nothing but bitterness and I’d hate to see that happen to someone so sweet.” He spoke softly the words penetrated in to her heart and sent her stomach in to a twist.

  “I don’t hate anyone.” She responded choosing to ignore the obvious compliment. He merely looked at her knowingly with those remarkable piercing blue eyes of his. She understood what he meant. She had to stop hating herself. He was just too polite to voice her thoughts.

  “You’re wrong you know, not everyone likes me.” She said remembering the girls in the bathroom. Blake was nice and caring but he was also a teacher. He didn’t see the whole picture of what was really going on within the high school.

  “Even those who hate you can’t help but secretly admire you.” He said honestly. He was constantly defending her from herself. He just wouldn’t give up on her.

  “Well answer me this, if I’m as liked as you claim then why is my only friend my chemistry teacher?” she asked sardonically with a raised brow.

  “We both know we’re not friends.” He replied as he leaned against the table. They weren’t. They both knew they were something a lot more. She couldn’t help but blush and glance away momentarily. She felt hot all of a sudden under the warmth of his loving gaze. “We’re each other’s shrinks?” she joked easing the tension between them. “Exactly.” He whispered. “I should get to Principal Sharpe’s office.” She said quickly. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Miss Rivers.” He said with a half smile and she could have sworn his blue eyes even twinkled at that same moment. She blinked and it was gone. She reminded herself to take her medication when she got home.