Breaking Bedlam (Beautiful Bedlam Book 2) Page 18

  “Logan’s actually not supposed to visit me too often otherwise people will get suspicious. But good news is at least I’m terminal so Papa Jackson as you so fondly called him can finally relax.”

  “She doesn’t know about Annie?” Sienna gasped.

  “Of course I know about Annie.” She replied cheerfully but Logan could detect the weariness in her voice from standing too long.

  “Lets get you back in bed.” He said softly and led her back in.

  “My mom used to work for our dad. She was his secretary.” Amber said airily and took off her wig throwing to the end of the bed revealing her hairless head.

  “Sienna, can I talk to you alone?” she asked abruptly.

  “Amber.” Logan chided.

  “Relax, I won’t tell her about the playboys stashed in that creepy box under your bed. I just want to talk, girl to girl.”

  “Five minutes.”

  “Yes Warden Jackson.” She cooed as he left.

  “Lets cut to the chase ‘cos I think he really means it. My brother is an idiot, a loveable idiot but an idiot nonetheless. He says stupid things. He does stupid things. And he’s such a good liar you’ll never know when he’s telling the truth something he inherited from our dear politician father, but you know him better than anyone else that he has the biggest heart and when he loves someone, he loves them with every inch of his being, he’d even be willing to fling himself in front of a moving train for them.” She said poignantly, her eyes suddenly looking so tired and sad.

  “Amber, it’s more complicated than that.” Sienna blushed and looked away.

  “He is in love with you and you’re in love with him and you’re both miserable without each other, its not rocket science. He was so madly in love with you that he was so wounded when he saw that you’d rather die than be with him that he wanted to hurt you just as bad as you hurt him. He wanted to punish you. It’s petty and stupid but that’s Logan. He’s always had a temper. You know that. And I think what made him madder was that you never fought for the relationship, not once. You need to stop holding on to your hate. Believe me, life is too short.”

  “What if hate is all I’ve got left? What if it’s the only thing that reminds me that I’m still alive?” Sienna asked sincerely looking to this child for answers to questions she’d asked herself for months.

  “Then you’ll always be tired. Anger is exhausting believe me I know. I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was eleven. Make the most of your physical heath before its gone. Not all of us get a second chance in life and yours is standing outside and his is sitting right in front of me.”

  “How do you know so much about me?”

  “Oh, its all we talk about whenever Jake comes to visit, the latest in the soap opera drama that is Logan and Sienna. You’re both so dramatic and short tempered but what’s a little love without some passion?” Amber asked theatrically with smirk.

  “Oh God,” Sienna winced and covered her face with her hand trying to hide her embarrassed smile. Seriously? First Annie, now Amber, did everyone honestly think that all Logan and Sienna ever did was go at each other like a couple of Viagra pill popping bunnies?

  “What? I’m fourteen. I’ll probably not make the end of this month forget next year. I’m living vicariously through Scarlett O’Hara, Katniss Everdeen and you so you better go out and live.” She said gleefully, her eyelids began drooping as she yawned.

  “One more thing, Logan is keeping something from you, but you can’t tell him I told you. He-“

  “Oh hey.” She said abruptly as Logan walked in.

  “You ready to go?” he said to Sienna looking rather apprehensive as if he were worried that Amber had already spilled his secret.

  “Sure. Is it okay if I visit you tomorrow Amber? I could bring pictures of Annie?”

  “Really? I’d like that!” she exclaimed and yawned again.

  “Get some rest. I’ll come visit when I can.” He said sweetly and kissed his sister on the cheek before leaving. This miniscule gesture of affection melted any remaining hatred she had left for Logan in her heart causing her to clench her fists to resist the urge to run over there and jump on to him hugging him like a child to a blanket.

  “Logan, I thought you were taking me home?” she asked confusedly as Logan drove up to his home entrance.

  “Yeah I will, sorry, I just need to pick something up from home. Do you mind just coming in for a minute?” he asked innocuously and after witnessing his behavior at the hospital Sienna didn’t detect a thing.

  “Sure.” she replied naively and followed him in. She barely got two feet in before she was met with screaming horde of people and an array of party poppers, which Sienna mistook for gunfire causing her to drop to the floor.

  “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they yelled. Their cheer died down when they saw her dusting herself and standing back up again awkwardly. Damn, she was weird.

  “Oh just shoot me now.” she muttered under her breath as she saw most of the senior and junior year classes gawping at her.

  “Just smile and breathe.” He said through a strained perfect white smile.

  “Logan how could you do this to me? You know I hate these people.” She hissed under her breath her eyes specifically on Bethany Simmons who glared back at her in envy. “Well the people love you, so please don’t hate me just yet and blow out your candles.”

  “Happy birthday, Sienna.” Rose gulped.

  “Thanks.” She replied and couldn’t help but stare at the hand she was holding. Noah quickly moved his hand and shoved it in to his pocket.

  “Make a wish birthday girl!” Trent hollered as Lawson brought the large square chocolate birthday cake topped with she’d be willing to bet seventeen lit candles on it out closer to her, resting it on a table in the foyer near the grand whirling staircase.

  She looked up at Logan who grinned back at her knowing she hated all the attention and love she was getting but didn’t care because he decided she’s better get used to it. Sienna sighed and closed her eyes trying to figure out what to wish for.

  In truth, she had a million and one wishes but decided against world peace because like that was ever going to happen Miss Universe, so she instead she hoped with all her might that her sadness, her hallucinations, her sickness would all just go away so that she could be a ‘normal’ girl again. She’d trade her illness over her newly found beauty any day if it meant she could go back to being that scrawny smiling braced faced kid again.

  She opened her eyes as she blew the candles out causing her classmates to cheer and whoop and clap again. Sienna was stunned silent as she saw her father walking behind them smiling. She smiled back at him then at Logan who had noticed this strange exchange of looks she’s made to thin air. She looked back at where her father had stood just seconds before but he was gone. After the initial cake cutting process and passing of plastic red cups were made all the questions came rolling in.

  “So, are you and Logan like back together?” Courtney Cross asked lightly twirling her blond locks with her fingers; her speech was a little slurred making Sienna wonder how it was that she was already drunk. The music pumped in the background making it hard for Sienna to barely make out what she was saying.

  “No, we’re just…we’re friends.” Sienna answered for the third time that night.

  “Oh, I wish I had super hot rich guy friends that threw me birthday parties. Oh wait, I do. He’s gay. Here are some words of advice. Come here, come here.” she ushered staggering on her heels for a couple of seconds. Sienna went over there.

  “You might be surprised by this but I’m not a virgin.” she whispered in Sienna’s ear, her breath reeked of strong alcohol then belched.

  “You don’t say,” Sienna retorted drolly.

  “So here is my birthday present to you.” She cackled and slipped a condom in to her hand.

  “Oh my…” Sienna sighed and quickly hid it in her fist before anyone could see it.

  “Have fun.” She giggled and mus
sed Sienna’s hair before stumbling over to Trent.

  “What was that?” Logan asked with an amused smile on his face as if he’d witnessed the entire absurd encounter.

  “I think the prom queen just gave us her blessing.” She said and smacked Logan’s arm as she saw his face crack up with laughter.

  “Stop laughing.” She chided and hit him playfully again.

  “It wouldn’t be so funny if you weren’t such a prude.” He chuckled at her humiliated expression. Their eyes grew warmer and gentler as their laughter ceased and they were left with nothing but the small empty space between them that they both wanted to fill. “So I should probably go now,” she said shakily.

  “What? But this is your party.” He replied back inconceivably.

  “No its not, these people came for you or at least to check out your mansion. They didn’t come for me, thanks for the party though. I’ve actually had fun. It meant a lot.” She whispered sincerely and stood up on her tiptoes and gave him the lightest gentlest kiss on his cheek. He turned his lips towards hers before she could move away completely catching her off guard as he gave he kissed her. She didn’t kiss him back but she didn’t exactly push him away instantly either.

  “I have to go.” She gasped, her heart raced as she rushed out of his house in such a daze that she didn’t realize that she had left through the back entrance in to the gardens that looked completely different to the majestically winter forest she had entered upon in her last visit, now it was a vision of color, bright greens and vibrant pinks, purples, reds and whites as the trees were in full bloom of late spring.

  “Sienna! Wait, I’m sorry.” He apologized as he sprinted after her catching up to her in mere seconds.

  “Sienna, can we at least talk?” he implored and spun her around to face him.

  “What’s there to say?” she asked fervently, her face was wet with tears. Logan pulled her to him and held her in his arms soothing her down as she cried in to his chest.

  “Stop! Stop being nice to me! Stop holding me! Stop kissing me! Stop trying to save me! I don’t want to be saved!” she exclaimed pushing him back as she walked on to the dock of the small lake.

  “I don’t want to be cared for! I don’t want to be lo-“

  “Well then get over it! Because whether you like it or not I’m going to be the one that’s going to pull your mopey ass out of bed every morning. And I’m going to remind you how beautiful you are every night. I’m going to be the one who’s going to pick you up every time life throws you down. You don’t like it? Tough, because I love you Sienna Rivers, and there’s not a damn thing you could say or do to make me feel otherwise.” He said passionately, his eyes burned black like a raven’s feather. His chest heaved slightly as he breathed heavily with the emotion that he’d been bottling up for months, maybe even years.

  “Get in the boat.” She said politely as she sat in the white wooden canoe. That was not the reaction he had hoped his dramatic romantic confession would have brought about.

  “What?” he asked confusedly blinking at her as if she had gone mad…again.

  “Get. In. The. Boat.” She said austerely making him realize she was serious.

  “What are you kidnapping me?” he asked humorously trying to hide the anxiety that was eating away at him. She began rowing and gliding the oars against the water. Her arms quickly grew tired much to her annoyance so she passed them on to him.

  “Row.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He said amiably rowing them effortlessly and with great ease. Sienna looked around and couldn’t help but be in complete awe of the natural beauty that surrounded her. She let her fingers slide along the cool blue water that almost looked orange wherever it was kissed by the sun. White water lilies and orchids floated on the surface. Willow trees hung low on the skirts of the lake. Sienna had never felt so serene before, looking upon such great beauty, she felt as if she had fallen asleep and woken up in the middle of a Monet painting, it was that stunning. She looked to Logan who was looking back at her with the same admiration and awe she had for the scenery around her.

  “What are you hiding from me?” Sienna asked gently.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied smoothly with an angelic look of innocence on his handsome face.

  “Amber told me everything.”

  “No she didn’t. She’d never do that to me.” He replied sullenly and squinted, looking out in the distance. The sun was setting falling in to the lake a if it didn’t want to stick around when Sienna found out the truth of the secrets he had been harboring.

  “Fine, she didn’t but what is it that’s so bad that you can’t tell me? Logan, why did you leave suddenly for two years without telling anybody, without even saying goodbye? Why weren’t you surprised when we found out that Annie is your sister and that our parents had an affair? And why do you have scars behind your ears?”

  “Why are you asking me these questions when you already know the answers?” he asked irritably and stopped rowing.

  “I want to hear you say it.”

  “No, you don’t.”

  “Just say it.” she besought him with tears already forming in her glisteningly bright green eyes.

  “What’s the point? I’m better now. The truth won’t make you feel any better. It won’t set you free. It’ll just shackle you down and make you grieve over something that happened a long time ago. Just drop it.” he growled and looked away.

  “You tell me now or you never tell me again. I mean it Logan. If you’re not completely honest with me now, we are done forever. No more secrets.” She said softly meaning every word.

  “I had a brain tumor.” He announced. Sienna’s entire face crumpled but she didn’t take the news as badly as he had feared, i.e. she hadn’t toppled over fainting in to the lake.

  “It wasn’t cancer like Amber’s if that’s what you’re thinking. It was benign. Non-cancerous, that means it couldn’t spread to other parts of my body. The technical term for it is bilateral acoustic neuroma. The summer before freshman year I began getting severe headaches, dizziness, vomiting for no reason, remember?”

  “I thought it was because you and Trent were hungover?” She said remembering encountering upon the boys from time to time vomiting their guts out.

  “No, that was just Trent.”

  “I had the worst earache of my life for two weeks straight but I didn’t think anything of it at first nor did my doctor not until I had a full blown seizure in the middle of dinner. Thankfully mine was only grade two, so it wasn’t that big yet so they took me in to the surgery room, eight hours later I was tumor free, of course I had to go through radiotherapy later on for the small bit of tumor that remained.” He said casually as if it were no big deal. But it was a big deal; a huge one and it killed her that he went through it alone, without her. She was suddenly wracked with guilt and despair despite Logan sitting right in front of her like a picture of health.

  “Amber had it worse. I wouldn’t wish chemo on anybody.” He said uncomfortably trying to fill the silence between them. Sienna was abnormally silent for once just sucking in all the information like a helpless sponge.

  “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me.” She whispered finally speaking up. Logan hesitated wondering just how much he should tell her. He could already see from the look of anguish on her face that she was distraught.

  “After my trans labyrinthine surgery I suffered from chronic headaches for several months and…the right side of my face was partially paralyzed and my left ear was very weak in hearing.” He said calmly and rather matter-of-factly.

  “Oh Sienna, don’t cry, the results were pretty good if you think about how big the tumors were. I could’ve, I should be completely deaf right now, but look at me I’m one of the lucky ones, Sienna, I survived.”

  “What? Now the tumors were big? Why didn’t you tell me Logan?”

  “I just…its something I needed to go through alone.”

  “
But I could have been there for you, I could’ve-“

  “What? Sat my bedside like my parents, cried your eyes out and ripped each other to shreds as I struggled to sleep? What good would it have done? You would’ve been just as helpless as them. I know you Sienna. This would have crushed you. Watching me die would have crushed you. We both know you don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to dealing with death and grief.” He said desolately and splashed the water with his fingers.

  “You should have at least said goodbye. I spent months, years, hating you. I blamed you for leaving me for so long. I still hate you. You should have told me. What if you had died? Would I have still thought to this day that you were in some fictional prep school? Or would I have read it in a local newspaper that the senator’s son dies of cancer?” she retorted hatefully and let her tears free fall like crazy.

  “Did I ever tell you you’re super hot when you’re mad?” he asked her charismatically and handed her a beautiful white lily, holding her dainty hands in his.

  “Stop it! Stop deflecting. You always do this whenever any conversation gets too serious you just try to distract me and cheapen what we have with…” her words faded as he gently kissed her hands.

  “Did you just throw a flower at me?” he asked amusingly in shock. She threw another one at him out of sheer frustration, then another completely drenching in water but he just laughed which only aggravated her even further.

  “Hey, Logan remember when we were eight years old and you used to tease me about still not knowing how to swim yet?” she asked sweetly, her angelic face so perfect it looked like it could have been carved in to stone.